Suffering With Purpose
1 Peter 3:17
Suffering with purpose has been a common topic between my husband, Christian, and I these approximately last two weeks. Life has definitely brought it’s hardships.
Recently I have been going through some struggles, and granted, most of them has been pregnancy related. I have had, and still have physical setbacks due to being pregnant. I realize I can’t complain, but it has been a struggle for sure. Being physically hurting and sick has been an incredible struggle for me. One thing leads to another and I feel like my health is just spiraling down the drain. I’ve been stabilizing slowly and right now I feel like I might be on the mend, for the most part, but this has made my heart go out to those who are struggling with health issues. And I realized that at least I have a light at the end of the tunnel, and my struggles are due to two precious little babies. I can’t imagine what it must be like for those who are merely struggling.
Anyhow, if being physically hurting, sick, and unable hasn’t been enough, I have been emotionally unstable (thanks, pregnancy hormones), and what must have been the thing that has hit me hardest is that I have not been as mentally capable as I once was. Normally when I couldn’t do physical things I always had reading and writing to fall back on, but lately that has been such a chore. I have had enormous trouble concentrating and keeping my focus on anything for any period of time.
I won’t lie, it’s been a tough time for me. I have felt that even though I am trying to do the right thing, for every step I take forward, I am forced two steps back. And after a few months of that being the consistent trend, it’s managed to beat me down. It’s hard when you are trying to do what seems right but you are not getting the results you expected. Granted, perhaps I set my expectations too high. I know I probably should lower my standards both for myself and those around me. I can’t expect myself to operate like I did before I got pregnant. But nevertheless, I have set that standard, and the fact that I have fallen so short of it seriously discouraged me.
A while back when Christian was going through a bit of a slump, I asked told him that life is suffering, but that we are able to choose whether we take the path of doing unpleasant and hard things because we are doing them for a bigger purpose or if we are just taking the lazy, easy path in life, which inevitably will also cause us suffering. Lately during the moments I’ve been down, he’s has been the one to give me my own advice back, which, of course, never feels good. Lol.
It’s been a rough few days for me, but this morning as I continued my study of 1 Peter, I came across a verse that just seemed to speak to me and it gave me consolation. It felt like God speaking to me.
This verse is beautiful to me because it is comforting while also telling me the truth. If it is in God’s will, you are going to suffer, but it better to suffer for doing good than doing bad. There are no pretty lies. No false hope. Just bare truth that somehow offers comfort.
My life isn’t perfect. I am not perfect. And this publication isn’t going to be perfect. I am going to write bad articles, worse ones, and if I’m lucky, maybe a couple of good ones here and there. Now more than ever there is probably going to be spelling errors and sentences that could have been written much better and with more thought. However, this publication isn’t meant to be perfect. It’s meant to reflect my life and the lessons I am learning, slowly and painfully. I am doing it because I love to write and I am hoping that sometime, somewhere, someone can read this and realize that they are not alone, and that there is, still, hope.
That’s it, that’s all I got. This is where I am at and what I am holding onto. It’s raw, mostly unfiltered, and definitely imperfect. I hope you guys can find some value in it and I hope you all have a blessed weekend!